Today I am so pleased to welcome C.R. Barnes to Joyfully Jay. Charlie has come to talk to us about his latest release, Happy Holidays! The Charlie Barnes Experience, Volume 1. He has also brought along a great giveaway. Please join me in giving him a big welcome!
Exclusive Excerpt
I didn’t do the dishes when I woke up. It was around 11:00PM and I knew I’d need an excuse not to write in the morning. I left them piled in the sink and went to bed, another problem solved.
In the morning, my first task, after the dishes, was to call BeeBee. He didn’t answer. To be fair, I called his cell phone during business hours. He rarely answers. I called his office line, no answer.
Then I remembered it’s Friday and he doesn’t go to the office on Friday. I’m desperate for a distraction. Anything to keep me away from my laptop.
Piedmont Park is a few blocks away and the weather is amazing and there’s no way I’m taking a walk. Eggplant face, remember? I can’t be seen like this. Stuck indoors, house is clean, leftovers in the fridge, no one to play with, and facing a deadline.
I’m about to surrender and sit at my nice desk, gifted to me by my publisher, when instead I call Luke. He left me this touching note:
Charlie, Call me. Luke Literary genius. Of course it has his number, I’m not giving it out. It’s coming up on noon. This day is not moving fast enough. I call him. He doesn’t answer, I don’t leave a message. What would I say? “Thanks for everything you did last night, sorry I passed out on the sofa.” No, there are too many ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ in the world already. I don’t want to add to the noise.
I grab some leftovers and plant myself in front of the TV. Internet is out. Again. I try BeeBee’s mobile. Still no answer. Nobody loves me today and the universe is conspiring against me. I start to think Dez called God and said ‘Keep an eye on the slacker for me.’ Being an atheist wouldn’t stop her.
I burn my mouth on my microwaved lunch because I’m an infant and don’t understand the basic laws of thermodynamics. One more try with BeeBee. Zilch.
Somewhere around 1:30 I’m feeling bad enough for myself I think I might be able to do some work. I open my laptop, fire up my favorite writing software (the free app included with the computer), select my favorite template, put my fingers on the keyboard, and… nothing.
My phone bursts to life with the best ringtone in the history of smartphones, “Fucking Best Song Ever.” Saved. It’s Dez. Not saved. I can’t ignore the call, but I can be a bitch about the interruption. I can tell her truthfully, I’m working. She doesn’t have to know nothing has been accomplished.
I get right to it. “Dez, can’t talk, I’m working.”
“Working? Then why do you keep calling BeeBee?”
Oops. Explains why he didn’t answer. I go on the offensive. “Whatever you two are up to, he better not bill me.”
“Don’t get snotty with me young man.” She speaks with such dismissiveness and condescension, it’s a reminder, as is her intent, why I love and respect her.
I am trapped by these people who know me too well. If they didn’t care, how much easier would life be?
“I’m not being snotty Auntie Dez, I am working, for reals. I’m sitting at my desk, the laptop is open and my fingers were on the keyboard when you called.”
“Then why did you answer?”
She’s got me there.
“I wanted to hear your apology.”
She snorts out a sharp laugh.
“For what should I apologize?”
“You left me at the hospital. I had to take an Uber home. I hate Uber.”
“Take Lyft next time. Or better yet, don’t piss off your ride.”
“It’s me, come on.”
“Touché. But no, no apology. Here’s a life lesson for you Charlie. A forced apology is like a faked orgasm. Even if you pull it off, everyone goes away unsatisfied in the end.”
Dez has the best life lessons.
Blurb
After a shocking event on Halloween night, Charlie Barnes is back in the news for all the wrong reasons. On the bright side, he meets handsome cop Luke. Luke of the blue eyes, perfect nose, beautiful butt cheeks, and, unbeknownst to Charlie, ulterior motives.
Even bad publicity can be good for book sales, according to Charlie’s publisher, who promptly moves up the deadline for his next book. A book he hasn’t started due to a crushing case of writer’s block. Or perhaps he’s just lazy, it’s hard to tell with Charlie.
He’s got a month to write his next book, decide if Luke is for real, and figure out what to do about the suitcase full of drugs he abandoned at the airport. The pressure is on and the ride is about to get bumpy.
Bio
C.R. “Charlie” Barnes studied literature and journalism in college and went to work for a global news organization immediately after graduation. During his time there, the team won a pile of awards and Charlie was on his way to a low-paying, high-stress career in a business he didn’t love. He now spends his time writing fiction because the news was never good, and one thing Charlie likes is a good time. Or at least not a bad time.
Giveaway
Win one of three $10 Amazon Gift Cards
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